How To Get Her Back After Being Needy: Rebound From Rejection

How To Get Her Back After Being Needy: Rebound From Rejection

If you’re struggling to move on after a breakup up with an ex, you’re not alone. 

It’s one of the hardest things you’ll go through. And unfortunately many men find themselves dealing with feelings of neediness following a breakup.

It’s difficult to let go, but sometimes you need to. Being needy and begging for her back isn’t going to get you anymore. If you want to reunite with an ex you have to build up attraction again, and neediness is not an attractive trait. 

If you’ve been going through a breakup and you’ve already come across as needy, then it’s time to stop. You can get your ex back, and show her a side to you that she wants to be with, but you’ll have to make a change in how you’re behaving right now.

In this article, we’ll explore the common causes of neediness and give you practical tips on how to address it. We’ll talk about ways to improve yourself and become a high-value man that your ex girlfriend will be drawn to. 

We’ll give you the tools and guidance for how to get her back after being needy. Whether you're looking to rekindle your relationship with your ex girlfriend or simply looking to improve yourself, this article will help you achieve your goal.

Table of Contents

Understanding the reasons for being needy

Common causes of neediness in relationships

Neediness is never pretty, so why do so many of us go through it after losing an ex? 

One of the main causes is a lack of self-confidence and self-esteem. When a man lacks confidence in himself, he may rely heavily on a partner for validation and emotional support. This can lead to feelings of neediness and an inability to let go after a breakup.

Another common cause of neediness is a fear of being alone. Some people may have a hard time being alone and may feel the need to constantly be in a relationship. This fear of being alone can lead to feelings of neediness. 

Another cause of neediness can be unresolved emotional issues or past traumas. If someone has not properly dealt with past traumas or emotional issues, they may find themselves relying heavily on their partner for emotional support. When that relationship ends, they may feel lost and struggle to move on.

Additionally, neediness can also stem from a lack of a fulfilling life outside of the relationship. When your sense of self-worth and happiness is tied to the relationship, you may find yourself struggling with feelings of being needy and longing for them to come back.

Neediness is often from a combination of these causes and can stem from different factors. It's important to identify and address these underlying causes in order to overcome feelings of neediness and move on after a breakup.

How to recognize and address your own patterns of neediness

Recognizing and addressing patterns of neediness can be challenging, but it is an important step in breaking free from the cycle of dependence in a relationship. Here are some tips on how to recognize and address patterns of neediness:

Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings: Take note of when you feel the most needy or dependent on your partner. Are there specific situations that trigger these feelings? Understanding the root cause of your neediness can help you address it.

Identify patterns of behavior: Are there specific actions or habits that you engage in when you feel needy? For example, do you constantly text or call your partner when they're not available? Are you overly sensitive to their actions or words? Identifying these patterns can help you understand how your neediness manifests in your behavior.

Learn to be comfortable with being alone: People who feel fulfilled in other areas of their life tend to be less needy in their relationships. Make sure you are engaging in activities and hobbies that you enjoy, and spend time alone to help build your own sense of self.

Communicate your needs clearly: Neediness can often stem from unmet needs or a lack of communication in the relationship. Practice expressing your needs clearly to your partner, and work together to find ways to meet those needs in a healthy way.

Seek professional help: If you find yourself unable to address your neediness on your own, seeking professional help can be beneficial. A therapist or counselor can help you work through underlying issues and provide strategies for addressing your neediness in your relationships.

It's important to remember that it is a gradual process and takes time and effort to change patterns of neediness. It's also important to remember that it's ok to ask for help and support when needed.


Looking for love after a breakup? Try eHarmony! With over 2 million successful relationships created in 125+ countries, this top-rated dating site can help you find someone truly compatible. Don't wait, sign up today and start your journey to finding true love!


Cutting off contact

Giving them space

The importance of giving your ex-partner space

First things first, you need to give your ex girlfriend space.

Space is a crucial aspect of addressing neediness in a relationship. When someone feels overly dependent on their partner, it can be easy to smother them with attention and affection. This can be overwhelming for the other person and can ultimately push them away. Giving your partner space allows them to have their own time and independence, and ability to process the breakup. 

If you’re always around and asking for them back, they will feel suffocated. It’s time to walk away and focus on yourself. And during this time you can build yourself back up and become an even better version of yourself. This is the way to build attraction, not by begging. 

When you give your ex girlfriend space, you are communicating that you respect their boundaries and their need for independence. It also allows gives them an opportunity to miss you.

It might seem counterintuitive. After all, if you love your ex why would you give them space and not make contact with them? 

By breaking up with you they have signaled they want a change from how things are right now. They want space, or they want to see what you will do if they ask for space. They may even expect you to follow them and beg for their attention. This is when you do the counterintuitive method, and walk away. Ignore them. Stop calling and texting.

In a weird way, you’re more likely to be on their mind by not getting in contact, opposed to messaging them all the time. 

With The No Contact Rule you take back the power, you work on yourself and you prove that you are a high value man who isn’t going to be walked over. Check out our guide to The No Contact rule to learn the best ways to implement it, and improve yourself in the process.

How to go about cutting off contact 

Cutting off contactis an important step in addressing neediness in a relationship, but it can be challenging. 

When cutting off contact, you may find that they try to get in touch with you. If this happens it's important to be honest and clear with your ex about your intentions. Explain that you need some space to focus on your own personal growth and development, and that you will be taking time to focus on yourself. 

It's also important to set boundaries with your ex during this time. Ask them to respect your boundaries. Just a short message, nothing huge. Something like, “Hey, I need time to focus on myself right now. Thanks for understanding”. 

Cutting off contact can be difficult for both parties, and it's important to understand that this is a difficult process for them as well. But if you’re wondering how to get her back after being needy then this method is necessary for building attraction again.

Improving yourself

Tips for becoming a more confident, self-assured man

Now that you’re implementing no contact, it’s time to become a more confident and self-assured man. This is precious time that you can use to focus on yourself and become the person you were meant to be. 

Here are some tips for building confidence and self-assurance:

Practice self-care: Taking care of yourself physically and emotionally can help boost your confidence and self-esteem. This can include things like getting enough sleep, eating well, and engaging in regular exercise.

Set and achieve personal goals: Setting and achieving personal goals can help you build a sense of accomplishment and purpose. This can be anything from learning a new skill to taking on a new hobby.

Challenge negative thoughts: Negative thoughts and self-talk can contribute to feelings of low self-esteem and neediness. Recognize and challenge these thoughts when they arise, and replace them with more positive and realistic ones.

Surround yourself with positive people: Being around positive and supportive people can help boost your confidence and self-assurance.

Build a support system: Having a support system of friends, family, or a therapist can provide emotional support and encouragement as you work on building your confidence.

Learn to be assertive: Being assertive means standing up for yourself and expressing your needs and wants clearly. It's important to learn to be assertive in your relationships and interactions, so you can communicate effectively and set boundaries.

Practice gratitude: Focusing on the things you are grateful for can help shift your perspective and improve your overall well-being.

Learn to accept compliments: Accepting and feeling good about compliments can be difficult for some people, but it's important to learn to do it. Being able to accept compliments gracefully can help boost your self-esteem and confidence.

If you’re lost and wondering how to get her back after being needy then we’ve designed The Breakup Blueprint just for you. In this step-by-step guide will walk you through exactly what you need to do in order to let go, build up attraction and get back with your ex.

Building a fulfilling life outside of your relationship

Having a fulfilling life outside of your relationship is an important aspect of addressing neediness and becoming a more self-assured individual. 

Find your passion: Identify things that you enjoy doing and make time for them in your life. Whether it's a hobby, sport, or volunteer work, having something you are passionate about can help you find fulfillment and purpose outside of your relationship.

Build a sense of community: Having a sense of community and belonging can be an important part of feeling fulfilled. This can be achieved by joining clubs, groups, or organizations that align with your interests or values.

Prioritize your personal growth: Make time for personal development and growth. This can be in the form of education, professional development or personal development.

Build and maintain friendships: Having a strong network of friends can provide emotional support and companionship, which can be especially important when you're going through a difficult time in your relationship.

Take care of yourself: Make sure you are taking care of your physical and emotional well-being. This can include things like getting enough sleep, eating well, and engaging in regular exercise.

Be open to new experiences: Open yourself to new experiences, whether it's traveling, trying new hobbies or meeting new people. Stepping out of your comfort zone can help you grow and learn more about yourself.

Build a sense of independence: Learn to do things on your own and to rely on yourself. Build your own life and make it something you're proud of.

Making yourself attractive to your ex

How to become a high-value man

Becoming a high-value man is an important step in re-attracting your ex girlfriend. A high-value man is someone who is confident, self-assured, and attractive to others. Here are some tips on how to become a high-value man that your ex will be drawn to:

Work on yourself: The most important aspect of becoming a high-value individual is working on yourself. This includes building self-confidence, improving your physical appearance, and developing a fulfilling life outside of your relationship.

Be a positive influence: High-value individuals are often seen as positive influences in the lives of others. This can include things like being a good listener, being supportive, and being a source of encouragement for others.

Develop your passions: Having passions and interests that you are passionate about can help you become a more interesting and attractive person. This can include anything from a hobby, sport, or volunteer work.

Be independent: High-value individuals are often seen as independent and self-reliant. This means being able to take care of yourself, both emotionally and financially, and not relying on others for validation or support.

Be confident and assertive: High-value individuals are often seen as confident and assertive. This means being able to stand up for yourself and express your needs and wants clearly.

Be a good communicator: Good communication is an important aspect of any relationship, and high-value individuals are often seen as good communicators. This means being able to express yourself clearly and actively listen to others.

Be a good listener: Being a good listener is an important aspect of being a high-value individual. This means being able to actively listen to others and provide support and guidance when needed.

Be open to new experiences: Being open to new experiences can help you grow and learn more about yourself, which can make you a more interesting and attractive person.

Improving your physical appearance

Improving your physical appearance, social skills, and overall attractiveness can be an important step in building up attraction.  Here are some tips on how to improve in these areas:

Physical appearance: Taking care of your physical appearance is an important aspect of becoming more attractive to others. This includes things like eating well, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep. It also includes things like grooming, such as maintaining good hygiene, getting a haircut, and dressing well.

Social skills: Building strong social skills can help you become more attractive to others. This includes things like being a good listener, being confident and assertive, and being able to communicate effectively. It also includes things like being able to make small talk, being interested in others, and being able to make others feel comfortable in your presence.

Overall attractiveness: Improving your overall attractiveness is about more than just your physical appearance and social skills. It's also about being a positive influence in the lives of others, being confident and self-assured, and having a fulfilling life outside of your relationship. It's about being a person of integrity, being a good listener, and being someone that others want to be around.

Re-establishing contact

How to approach your ex-partner in a non-needy way

After you’ve taken time for yourself and implemented the no contact rule for the correct amount of time, you can start to think about reconnecting with your ex.

Again, it’s important not to reconnect before you’ve had a chance to calm your emotions and go on a journey of self improvement. But it’s also important not to wait too long since you started no contact. The Breakup Blueprint tells you exactly what to do and the steps to take in these situations.

When trying to reconnect with an ex girlfriend, it's important to approach the situation in a non-needy and confident manner. One way to do this is by focusing on your own personal growth and development. Show her that you've been working on yourself and that you're a better and stronger person than you were when you were in the relationship. This will demonstrate that you're not reaching out to her out of desperation or a need for validation.

Another way to make contact in a non-needy way is to have a clear and specific reason for reaching out. Don't just reach out to her because you're feeling lonely or want to reconnect without any particular reason. Instead, have a specific topic in mind that you would like to discuss with her, whether it's about a shared interest or a mutual friend. This will make it clear that you're reaching out with a specific purpose, rather than just trying to rekindle the relationship for the sake of it.

It's also important to be respectful of her boundaries and to not pressure her into a relationship. If she's not interested in reconnecting, it's important to accept her decision and move on. Show her that you're mature enough to handle rejection and that you're not going to try to change her mind.

Tips for making a positive first impression 

Approaching your ex girlfriend in a non-needy way is an important step in re-igniting attraction and potentially rekindling your relationship. Here are some tips on how to approach your ex-girlfriend in a non-needy way:

Be confident: Confidence is key when approaching your ex-girlfriend. Show her that you are secure in yourself and that you are not desperate for her attention. This can be achieved by maintaining good posture, speaking clearly and making eye contact.

Be respectful: Show your ex-girlfriend that you respect her and her boundaries. This means being mindful of her feelings and not pushing her to do anything she's not comfortable with.

Show that you've changed: If neediness was an issue in your past relationship, it's important to show your ex-girlfriend that you have worked on yourself and addressed those issues. You can do this by being more self-assured, less clingy and showing her that you can give her space.

Show that you've moved on: Show your ex-girlfriend that you are not still hung up on the past relationship and that you have moved on. This can be achieved by being busy with your own life, having a positive attitude and not dwelling on the past.

Be genuine: Be genuine and authentic when approaching your ex-girlfriend. Don't try to be someone you're not or put on a façade in order to impress her.

Give her space: Remember that giving your ex-girlfriend space is important and don't try to force anything. Let her come to you and don't pressure her into getting back together.

Be patient: Be patient and take things slowly. Remember that building attraction takes time and don't try to rush things.

How to get her back after being needy

So there you have it. This article covered a lot of ground, including the importance of respecting yourself, becoming higher value, cutting off contact, improving yourself and having a fulfilling life outside of the relationship. 

It's important to remember that becoming a high-value individual takes time and effort, but by incorporating the tips discussed in this article, you can make steady progress towards re-attracting your ex.

For more help check out these traits of alpha males in relationships.

Of check out our in-depth article on reaching out to an ex after months.

Back to blog

Leave a comment

Please note, comments need to be approved before they are published.

1 of 4